again

Brennan, 14, threw a fit yesterday because I wouldn't let him go play in a kiddie pool with a 7 and 9 year old. He is too big for the pool, too old for the kids, and he had to get ready for his Boy Scouts meeting. He threw couch pillows, shoes, pictures off the wall, whatever he could get his hands on to try to get out of the meeting and make me change my mind. Like that ever works?! Then he screamed "It's not fair" twenty plus times at the top of his lungs. I took a moment to say "No, it's not fair. It's not fair that you are screaming and throwing things around my house" as if that would help him see my rational point of view. It made me feel slightly better though. After he settled down I walked through the house to survey the damage and found a baseball sized hole in the drywall. Again.

Brennan says he made that hole "on accident" last week. I didn't notice a hole until last night, which means it didn't happen until last night. I notice everything. Even though he had made the hole last week, or someone else had made the hole, he needs to realize that he will be a suspect for all damage in areas where he has his rages, here at home and out in public. He is also responsible for any damage he causes, whether accidental or during a rage.

We calmly went to Boy Scouts, then I got the littles to bed, and privately called the police to file a report. I watched a (weird) movie with Brennan, then George Lopez, and when the police pulled up to the house I let him know I had called. Imagine how chaotic our night would have been if Brennan had been consequenced earlier. The littles have state testing today at school, so I made sure they had a normal night and plenty of sleep.

The officer took a while to decide whether or not to take Brennan to jail. I could not be part of that decision. I want him to learn to control himself, and jail may be a good lesson, but it will break me to send him. So I stood with Officer Burke and Brennan and listened to their conversation. Brennan was at risk for being arrested for lying to an officer, destruction of property, and truancy. I was surprised to see Brennan truthfully report that he has been skipping school. Officer Burke was supportive of Brennan's mental health issues, and taught Brennan alot about his place in this world regardless of those issues. He did a pretty good job.

Then the officer told me that I need to beef up discipline around here. He said a child who put a hole in a ceiling should not have been allowed to sit downstairs and watch TV. He said I only am required to give him food and water. He said it's even warm enough to make him stay in the backyard. That's where Officer Burke lost me. I can't imagine a day, or even an hour, with Brennan living on the patio and LEARNING from his situation. Kids like Brennan don't learn that way. His abandonment and self-esteem issues would kick in so badly that he would bust down the door to get back into the same room with me. Again.

Brennan is being consequenced appropriately. His mama knows best.

I don't know what else to say about this issue. I am certainly feeling hypervigilant yet exhausted from the rushing adrenaline last night. Good thing he went to school this morning. I need a break. Again.