foster kid logic...

...from son two: "Why are you adopting us? We are destroying your house."

Telling, huh?

Foster Kid Logic #1: We are destroying your house so you won't adopt us (they really want me to adopt them but are pushing me away in fear that they will have to move to their sixth placement).

Foster Kid Logic #2: We are destroying this house because we do not value it (they don't understand the value of a home, and do not feel attached enough to this home to feel invested in making it a comfortable, love-filled home). Add in the natural qualities of messy kids....

Foster Kid Logic #3: We can't believe you are keeping us even though we are destroying something important to you (they don't understand the finality of this placement, they think they can cause this placement to end, and most upsetting, they think that when they move from place to place, it must be their fault).

I have ALOT of work to do.

I have an interesting way of gaging son two's attachment to me in any particular moment: I kiss my hand and put the kiss on his face. If he peels the kiss off his face and throws it across the room, I laugh and tell him I'll get him later. If he looks at me and smiles, and gives me a kiss back, I spend a few moments bonding with him. What does that say about my older son's response to me blowing him kisses from his doorway as I leave his bedroom at bedtime (he grabs them from the air and puts them in his pocket)?

A fearless friend, Chase, hangs out with one or more of my children about once a week to help them attend activities that I can not split myself into four selves in order to attend. Sometimes he comes over and helps clean the kitchen and floors, which is a never-ending job with four kids and five dogs. Sometimes we all go out together. Anyway, he was over two days ago after taking Brennan to the Y to work out. He and I were secretly chuckling about all the crazy kid things that were happening all around us. A week's worth of healing for me within five minutes of laughing with a friend... I told Chase that I have learned so much by parenting Brennan, and so much more from parenting my three new kids that I am confident that I will fost/adopt again in about 18 months. I had expected the standard comment "you're crazy!" but I should not expect the standard from him. He SEES me. He responded, "That's brilliant."

Sidenote: My littles ask me frequently to marry Chase. From their Hispanic background, they have not experienced a single parent family quite like mine. I have known this precious guy for 8 years, but since he is 15 years younger, and just a friend, marriage is not likely. I do expect that Chase and another dear friend, Frank, will always be in my life.